Girl broken, under maintenance.

The life of a girl who's wings are bandaged.

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 Hey howdy hey peoples!!!! I've been really busy lately with (ugh) school. And  don't really have much to talk about except that I am back in the library on my off (which I cannot go home from because of my freshman sister) blogging like good old times!! Life has been okay. Went to see my therapist today and it was... awkward? No that's not the right word. (ugh the dreaded sucky ass keyboard is back) I don't know what it was but I'm not sure if I feel better. I do a little, and she's very god, but I feel lonely now and I don't know what to do. I wish my mom could take me to work with her. I know that sounds baby-ish, but I don't know what else to do. I don't feel like doing anything but that. Or sleep 'cause I am dead tired. I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind. I feel like I should just get my mental breakdown over with so that I can be done and out of the way. Damn suicidal thoughts are back, not as strong, but back none the less. Maybe they will send me away to an institution. I don't know any more. I just don't and right now it seems like my best option...... Talk to me peeps!! I'm dying here!!! I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING!! Maybe I should just rant to know one. That might help.



okay, i'm done. not much better, but oh well...

TaTa For Now loves!!!

~You say psycho like it's a bad thing~


Took a fun quiz and this was my result muahahaha

<a href=""><img src="" border="0" /></a><div style="width:250px;font-size:10px;font-family:verdana;" align="center"><a href="" style="color:#000;" target="_blank">Quizzes</a>   <a href="" target="_blank" style="color:#000;padding-left:50px;">Girls Games</a></div>

Writer's Block: Pleasure, little treasure
Are there any sentimental objects that you've kept for many years? Are there any that you bring with you wherever you go?

When I was a small child, my parents gave me a stuffed snowman that I later named James. He was my partner in crime. I took him everywhere, even if it was just the living room couch. I kept him through the years untill one day, I came home to find James in pieces around the room, torn apart by the family dog. I was heartbroken. I quickly searched for a replacment snowman, to no avail. I "replaced" him with a fuzzy teddy bear named Harrison. I loved the bear equally as much, but knew in my heart that James could never be replaced. One christmas, I put the word "James" on my list, just for giggles. Two days before Christmas eve, my parents brought me into the family room, my eyes closed shut. I held out my hands, wondering what the thing was. As soon as the soft fabric touched my hands, I burst into tears. I hugged the brand new, exact replica James and slept with him right next to me that same night, this time keeping him far away from the dog. I have now grown out of sleeping with stuffed animals, but James and Harrison still look at me, smiling, from the same shelf every day. And sometimes, when I'm angry, sad, upset, or happy, I pull them off the shelf and remind myself that they are always there for me.

Random thoughts of the day:
Random thought number one: I hate living here

Random thought number two: I really wish its was cold outside

Random thought number three: I don't want my parents to go to work on monday

Random thought number four: DARIAN NEEDS TO GET ONE OF THESE!!!!!

Random thought number five: I'm not really wanting to post, I was just bored

~You say pshyco like it's a bad thing~ 

Okay so I haven't been on in a while and its hard to type with this bandage wrapped around my right hand. In case you were wondering, I was curling my hair and grabbed the wrong end of the curling iron, giving myself second degree burns. So other than that stupid act of retarded-ness... Life has been okay. I am so ready for school and super ready for registration tomorrow. I am flippin out for Harry Potter in November.... New icon just for the occasion! Haha so nothing has been happenin in my boring, sad, non-social life. The reunion was not as bad as I made it out to be and I saw a cool museum while I was there. My mom found an apartment.... Very hard to watch and be with her while it was happening. I cried a seperate time of thrice.... That was weird. My mom has been more obbsessed with my sick brother and her apartment than me, probably when I need her most. I don't know who to talk to and when ever I try, I don't know how or where to start. Its been realy hard on me and I don't know what to do or how to feel or what to say..... So I'm not sure what else to say or do. Hope to talk to you guys soon!!!

Love you all to pieces!!!

TTFN TaTa For Now!!!!!

~You say phsyco like it's a bad thing~

Writer's Block: Celebrity Overload
Which celebrity are you sick of seeing? Who would you like to see more of?

I'm seriously sick oif seeign the twilight cast. I like them, but seriously people, give em a break! I really would like to see more of like Johnny Depp or Helena Bonham Carter. (If you don't know who she is, you are dead to me, look her up yourself)

Okay so updates...

Life is pretty good. I'm still really tired and I'm scared my hair is falling out. I'm so sick of being tired and anxious and depressed and I'm just so sick of it and the suicidal thoughts are coming back and I'm so scared... This is weird for me to talk about but I don't know who else to tell... ='[

So I went over to Sid's house on Saturday and I had so much freaking fun. We stayed up and played with toys and put on really funny voices and omigoodness it was fun. I'm leaving on Saturday for the reunion. Maybefriday. I hope friday because otherwise I have to get up at 4:00 am just to leave. I know I can sleep in the car but the car is not comfy and my bed is...

Damn-it I'm out iof words already. Probably cuz my life sucks...

Later lovies!!!

I  am tinking is time for updatez no? xP

Okay so life is pretty good. I'm a lil concerned that my dpression and formed into bipolar syndrome, because my depression and happiness keeps coming in waves. I will have to talk to Dr. Miller bout that...

So my sister is driving me insane! Because I wanted to write a book, she has to write a fucking book. Because I'm the oldest, I have to share a little bit of my birthday money with them becuase she found that "very last copy in the store" and "can pay me back"... God I'm sick of it. She keeps telling me that she can dress me up for pictures on picture day and that she'll make me look really good. God damn-it I just wanna rip my hair out. Because I dyed my hair dreen, she wants extentions with color. ';PKIGJWS;-DF9TNGH;WPIETNG!!!!!!!!! I can't even think about it!!!

Okay now that's over, I wanna tell you what I wasted my money on! I got hair clips, hair dye, a tie, jeans (non-skinny), black light nail polish, two keychains, one saying "Hello my name is awesome" and the other saying "Zombies hate fast food", and a teen anxiety book. So yeah. Oh and a cup of coffee. I was gonna buy shoes, but I ran out of money...

I regret sadly, that I cannot wait for school. I am sick and tired of being alone, and having panic attacks untill my parents get home. So yeah I'm excited for school.
I fell in love with a car todya. Its a toyota prius hybrid, very expensive, but the older models are just as nice. Now if only I had a permit and the knowledge to drive xD...

I think that's all in my crazy life!!!
TTFN, TaTa for now lovies!!

Writer's Block: A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma
What message would you put into a fortune cookie?

Your shoe's untied...

Lifetime!! (ITS COLD IN HERE!!!)

Okay so life has gome by pretty slowly this past week. I haven't been sleeping well lately and It feels like my nights are getting shorter. It kinda sucks but oh wells. Its not like I have to get up early anyway. At least not till school starts. Which I'm actually looking forward to, just cuz I can be distarcted from life and have something to do. Though I am going to my teen anxiety class tonight so I have that to look forward to.

So we gotta hang. I know I say that ALL the time but I'm like too legit to quit now. (Okay I am never saying that again)

I have cool news!! I'm trying to write a book! Its really hard but hopefully it doesn't sound too stpid. I will try to update my chapters on here if I can. ^.^. I also have yet to spend any money from my birthday and I'm kinda angry bout that... Okay so that Inception movie looks really cool and maybe that could be our little get together?! Okay so Sid is texting me as we speak so I will talk to you on here! Darian if you do get an account, this is moi!!!!

Um... I think that's all in my schizo life!!!
TaTa for now loves!!!!


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